Is a church an appropriate place to sign the DC Marriage Equality bill?
On Friday Mayor Adrian Fenty signed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage in the District of Columbia. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the signing ceremony and witness a moment in history of what has become one of the most important civil rights issues of my generation. “We knew this day would come,” Fenty said at the ceremony. “I say to the world: an era of struggle ends for thousands in Washington, DC.”
Unless Congress decides to step in during their review period, same-sex couples will be able to marry in the District starting in mid-spring.
However, although the ceremony moved me--and it moved me greatly--I couldn’t help but be uneasy about where it took place: All Souls Unitarian Church. I need to start off by saying that I have the utmost respect for the Unitarian Church and All Souls in particular. The Church has long been a proponent of civil rights in DC and has done a lot of great work in the community. But however much good the church has done, it is a church never-the-less. And holding such a ceremony in a place of worship is misguided in that it serves to further blur the distinction between civil marriage and religious marriage--a distinction that is crucial for gaining acceptance for civil marriage across the United States.
Religious marriage is based on scripture and tradition. Different churches may have different qualifications for which couples’ marriages they will solemnize (many, of course, will refuse to perform or recognize a same-sex marriage) and have varying ideas about the purpose of a marriage and the duties and roles of those entering into it. However, civil marriage is a legal contract in which the state affords the couples certain benefits, rights and privileges. Religious and civil marriage are, in other words, very different things and defined in very different ways. But it’s partly the confusion about the differing roles of the two that have caused much of the opposition to gay marriage and the misconception that a change in who can enter into a civil marriage will disrupt the “traditional” definition of religious marriage many people of faith embrace. And in fact, a lot of the work I’ve been doing through the AHA to advocate for equality in marriage has centered on education about the difference between the two--particularly emphasizing that granting same-sex couples the right to enter into a civil marriage does not mean religious congregations will be forced to solemnize or recognize them as well.
Holding the signing ceremony in a government building rather than a church would have been much more appropriate and would have helped to stem fears that granting gays and lesbians the right to civil marriage would not force churches or other houses of worship that don’t recognize gay marriage to change their own, religiously-based definitions of marriage.
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Marriage is one of the most sacred ceremonies that we humans experience. Being married also gives us happines..*~
first off the unitarian church is a church that sugar coats the truth, or rather they flat out ignore the things that make people uneasy. for example, the bible says that many things are a sin, but they ignore that and just give the goodie goodie things. they give half the truth. so if same sex marriage was going to happen in a church, it would be that one, so it makes since that thats were the ceremony took place.
i agree with the author that same sex marriage shouldnt be in the church. the church came up with marriage, so they should be able to control it. but that doesnt mean that you cant go out somewhere else and a get a marriage equivalent, which is what we all want anyway right?
“first off the unitarian church is a church that sugar coats the truth”
As a Unitarian I am offended by this remark. There is no sugar coating in that church. We beleve people have a right to choose their own path. That includes same-sex mariage. Now if your are hinest in your belief that teh church should control marriage then the Unitarian-Universalist church should control marriage among their adherents so if we want to perform gay marriages and have them hold the same import as heterosexual marriages then why shouldn’t we be allowed to do that? See you want to tell us how to live and what to believe.
But let me ask you this. Would you worship a god that would command people to kill their children if their children wanted to worship other gods? If you are a Christian you do.
Deuteronomy 13:6-11
If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” (gods that neither you nor your fathers have known, 7 gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), 8 do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him. 9 You must certainly put him to death. Your hand must be the first in putting him to death, and then the hands of all the people. 10 Stone him to death, because he tried to turn you away from the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 11 Then all Israel will hear and be afraid, and no one among you will do such an evil thing again.
Now I presume you have read the bible which means you know these verses exist. These verses are never quoted among mainstream Christians because they are un-American (Please consult the First Amendment to the US Constitution if you think otherwise.) I suspect you do not bring them up very often. If that’s the case who is doing the sugar coating?
The Koran has simliar admonishments commanding its followers to kill those who would try to convert muslims to other religions. Think of those Christian missionaries that go to places like Pakistan and Afghanistan and are detained because they carry a Bible or a children’d book procliming the “Good News”.
See the live and let live beleifs of the UUA really are right on the money.
marriage is great specially if you have found a very special someone that is beautiful both on the inside and outside.:~”